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Their own website lists this as a 4-star hotel; wrong! One star if they're lucky!| Firstly, we book two rooms through Expedia - a room for three and a room for two. On checking in, we were told Expedia has problems so our deposit never went through. Okay, fine Give us the rooms and we'll pay now. First thing we discover - no lift. Carry bags up two full flights of stairs, only one full flight for the other room. Both rooms have wall to wall carpeting, covered by every stain imaginable. First room, two twin beds - not big enough for three people - "Oh, sorry I misunderstood; I can give you a bigger room, but obviously it will cost substantially more." So instead, they bring up a lumpy mattress to create a third bed lying on the floor. Screenless windows are on one side of the room, facing a littered yard used as a secondary car park. Noises from outside? Too bad, windows must stay open because this building has no air conditioning. This room is on the 3rd floor ( American, 2nd flr in Brit-speak), extremely hot and stuffy. When asked, they did bring us two small tabletop fans (met the fella wiping the dust off them in the hallway. "4 star hotel with modern conveniences," no lift, no A/C. At some point the walls and ceilings had been painted by someone who never learned how to mask edges. Paint on doors and mouldings look like many coats had been applied over the years in a technique we used to call "Landlord Painrting." Floors are uneven and spongy. Other room had one bed - full sized mattress, not a queen, uncomfortably small for two adults. Sink in the room - Cold water faucet, hot water faucet, no stopper for filling the sink; you either wash with cold water or incredibly hot. Toilet in separate alcove, still "within" the room. Light string even has a rolled up piece of stiff yellowed paper knotted to it, creating a little makeshift pull. Toilet paper holder was a standard wall mounted holder, with no roller to slip the paper onto. Toilet seemed pretty clean, but the floor was squishy vinyl, as if it were laid over rotten wood. Across from the toilet, another alcove held a step up and into shower, roughly 30" square. Shower seemed cleaned, but if you dropped the soap, you had to be pretty lithe to reach down to the floor with the door closed. Also, shower door seal at the base was not there. The floor got wet, contributing to the further rot of whatever wood was lurking beneath the unevenly applied tile. Pulling the light cord in the shower turned on one of two little ceiling lights - one flashed on and off continuously, the other didn't light at all. No place to hang towels. No hooks on any walls, anywhere, except for one cheesey coat hook on the OUTSIDE of the shower door. Room had two small end tables, one of which was occupied by an electric kettle, one ceramic cup with a spoon, a few packets of instant coffee, non-dairy creamer, and sugar. No chair of any kind in the room. No shelves, no stand for a suitcase, no closet, no closet rod, no hangers. The wall mounted TV would not power on. When I looked behind it to check if it was connected, the cable connection literally fell out of the fitting. Also, there was no "Do Not Disturb" sign for the door. I fashioned my own and taped it (my own tape) to the outside of the door. Every time we went out, I'd leave the sign up, and every time we came back someone had moved it elsewhere on the door, up high, down low, once it was taped to a wall mirror next to the door. And one time we came back to find it had been ignored, and they had brought clean towels into the room. Obviously we hadn't requested them.| So, yes on the plus side: the towels were clean; the beds and sheets seemed to be clean (although they had no fitted sheets, they just tucked a top sheet around the mattress which would pull up when you turned over.) We didn't encounter any insects or vermin, although when we opened the windows we discovered hunks of combination cobwebs and dust bunnies. | There appeared to be two buildings total; they may have been nice suburban homes some 80 or 90 years ago. Not now. And I can only guess the pictures on their website are of rooms in the first building, which we never got to see.| But that 4 star hotel stuff? Total hogwash. There may be some nice hotels in Slough, but you'd be better off with the nearest Holiday Inn Express, or anything closer to London. How this place got so many glowing 5 star reviews, I can only chalk up to phony postings.| I would like to say, do NOT book a room here.
